Home and Moving Forward

Sorry I haven't been super prompt in updating the blog. Life has been busy.

We ended up being at Primary Children's for nine horrible, soul wrenching days. Something I have no intention of ever doing again. Ever. She still wasn't improving, and they'd done chest X-rays, abdominal X-rays and ultrasounds to rule out other things. Finally, on day 7 (Mon) they said that although they couldn't confirm that she had a bacterial infection, they were going to put her on a couple of different antibiotics to cover the spectrum, and hope that made a difference. They gave her the first dose around 12, and by 6 that night, she was our little girl again. She was eating, and talking, and playing, and Ryan and I just kept looking at each other like, "THANK GOD!" She continued to improve, and we were able to come home around 12 on Wednesday.

 It was good for me to see her and daddy enjoying some snuggle time. 

 Notice anything missing?? This was after she'd made it half the night off of oxygen, and they let us take off the cannula when she woke up. Woot Woot! 

 More painting. 

 We'd been given the clear to go home at this point; we were just waiting for paperwork and prescriptions to get taken care of. 

Finally on our way home! Thanks to Grandma Dawn for picking us up, since Ryan was at work.  She doesn't look thrilled, but she was super tired and fell asleep pretty quickly once we were on the road. 

Being home has been great, but I think the whole experience scarred all of us a bit. It was scary for me to not have her hooked up to a pulse/ox, knowing what her oxygen levels were. I've been sleeping with her monitor on again, which I haven't done for a while. We've slowly started getting her out and about again, which is also terrifying, but I have to let her be a kid and play. I thought I was a crazy germaphobe mom before- I am downright psycho now. She has been a little congested today, and we're all on edge. She keeps telling us that she doesn't want to go back to the hospital again. It makes me sad that when we play Doc McStuffins now, she knows way more than any little girl should about how they check you, and different things they do and say at hospitals. :(

 Playing doctor with all of her hospital supplies. 

I would move mountains to see that smile. So glad to be home!

They have her on a daily inhaled steroid for now to try to help stay on top of things. Hopefully it will help. I don't know that I have the mental/emotional stamina to go through that again. I am already freaking out because I mentioned a little dark spot in Ari's eye at one of her follow up visits, and the doctor said that just as a precaution he wants us to see a specialist to rule out any malignancies. He didn't seem concerned, and it's probably nothing, but considering how things have gone, I am in a complete state of panic- and of course, because it's a specialist, they're booked until May, so I have lots of time for my brain to blow things out of proportion and make me into even more of a crazy person. I am pretty much living on the edge now, constantly worried about whether my little girl is healthy or not. I have a constant prayer running through my head, "Please just let her be healthy and happy. Please just let her be healthy and happy..."  We are definitely not having any more kids after this little guy is born, because I can't handle the stress and heartache that comes with loving these little ones so completely. I already think I need to get some good anti anxiety pills.... or start drinking heavy liquor....

Anyhow, we've been trying to get back into a routine again, and have done some fun stuff. Aria is thrilled to be playing with friends, and getting out to do things. Cousin C had her birthday party a couple of weeks ago when the weather was nice, and they planned for all of the cousins to fly kites at the park. It was the perfect day for kite flying, and I think it was the only positive kite flying experience (for me) that I have ever had. :)

We were finally able to make Ari's birthday cake and sing to her last Sunday. She was very excited. I still feel so bad that her birthday was such a bust this year, but she doesn't seem to mind, because she's awesome. :) I wanted to do some Ari updates since she is 3 now. She is absolutely the light and joy of mine and Ryan's lives. She is smart, feisty, silly, sweet, and imaginative. She loves to sing, and if she isn't singing a real song, she is making one up about whatever we are doing. She loves the idea of monsters, and often tells you that she's carrying her baby monsters with her. She has a very short attention span. She loves to have the shower on in the bath now. Lately she's been big on "stealing" my nose and eating it. She doesn't like soda pop (hallelujah!). She LOVES to paint, is very bossy, she loves to play games (she cheats at most of them and tells you to be a cheater, too), is a tease, and she loves her dogs, except for when they're smelly. Aria loves to "help"- whether it is helping me cook, or helping Ryan gives the dogs a bath. She doesn't like to help clean up her toys, unfortunately. She really enjoys the library, and loves to read. Ari also likes to be naked and is jumping up and down naked on the bed as I type this. She's starting to warm up to the idea of having a little brother- she will talk about when he comes, she still calls him Goose, and she will randomly give my belly kisses. She appreciates yummy tastes and smells, and pretty things outside. We get fresh flowers every week now because of her. She has an amazing memory, which is not always convenient for mom and dad. ("Mom- remember that one time you cried at the grocery store?") She takes very good care of her stuffed animals and babies, which makes me hopeful that she'll be a great helper when little brother comes. When she thinks your idea is lame, she'll say, "Actually-" and then proceed to tell you what her "better" idea is.  I love her curly hair, her smile, and her awesome hugs. She makes us smile every day, and there are no words that do justice to the amount of joy she has brought into our lives. 

Favorite color: Blue (but sometimes it's pink- and she tells you what your favorite color can be.                          You can't share....)

Favorite song: Twinkle Twinkle Little Star (and I Will Wait for You by Mumford and Sons)

Favorite show: Caillou (ugh)

Favorite food: Chicken nuggets

Favorite treat: Jelly Beans (or anything that is sugary...)

Favorite place to go: Boondocks, the park, and Grandma and Grandpas. 

Aria has been begging to go to Boondocks, but I'm terrified of all the kids and germs, so we went first thing in the morning last Friday before it got very busy. Grandma Sue was able to meet us. It was fun to get out, and with some hand sanitizer and hand washing, we all survived (so far...). 

 Ari's favorite game at Boondocks is one where you shoot at giant spiders that are attacking you in a jungle. Grandma got in on the action with her. This game nearly gives me nightmares, but she thinks it's awesome. 

I am glad Grandma was there, because I wasn't about to bounce my huge pregnant body around on that "ride."

We also got to go to the new aquarium this weekend. It definitely still has some work to be done- half of the exhibits are empty, still, but it was fun anyhow. Aria's favorite parts were crossing the rope bridge petting the starfish. 

 The toucan came right up to the fence and kind of freaked her out, especially since the lady by the exhibit made a comment about keeping her fingers away because he might bite them...

 She did great crossing the bridge.

The otters were actually doing stuff today!

 He got a carrot, and then came right up to the glass to eat it in front of Aria. 

 Petting star fish and sea urchins.

Froggy mask in the gift shop!

Round 2 on the rope bridge. We had to wait about 30 minutes this time around.... 

Well, this has gone on long enough. I leave you with a belly pic.